8000m peaks

I just finished a great book that I would highly recommend. It's a very easy read and is so much more than a mountaineering book. The book is titled "No Shortcuts to the Top" and it's by Ed Viesturs. He is the first American to climb all 14 of the world's 8000m peaks ( at least 26,247 feet tall or 4.97 miles high) without supplemental oxygen.

I could be really tempted to make this post about climbing mountains which has always been a hobby of mine. Personally, I haven't gotten anywhere near 8000m, but I have had the privilege of climbing some really cool places: Yosemite's Half Dome, many of Colorado's 14,000 foot peaks, Mt. Shasta and a few others in the north Cascades of Washington. I would be lying if I said climbing one of those 8000m peaks wasn't on my "bucket list" of things to do in life though. My wife would kill me if the mountain and my body didn't. I digress.....

The point I really wanted to make about the book is this. When Ed started climbing mountains he didn't have the goal set to climb all 14 of these peaks. He didn't even dream of such a thing. He just wanted to climb the first one which led him to take the first step. Then the second one and so on. Eighteen years after he started climbing the first one he finished the last peak.

What impressed me most about the book is that Ed started someplace and that led him to the next place until he realized what the end goal was. He didn't plan it out at first, he didn't have a map of what life would look like, he couldn't have told you when and how it would be done. I would venture a strong guess (because I have read the book) that he wouldn't have allowed himself to think that far in the future when he started the first one. He just wanted to get through that one.

Probably time for me to back up for a minute and give some perspective on how/why this applies to my blog. After all I'm not here doing book reviews for you all to read. So here comes story time again.

After college I moved back home with the parents and started construction work. I didn't major in construction at school, but I wasn't super excited about what I studied at school at that point in my life (another post for another time) so construction would do. After a year or so I decided to move on from the construction (many, many other factors that I won't go into here led me to this choice as well) job and pursue other things. I had always wanted to go out west, Colorado especially, and decided it was time to go. An acquaintance at the time had told me a simple phrase that has stuck with me and I in turn have told it to many others.

"Home is always home and you can always come back, you'll never know what you might be missing if you don't go."

This is coming from a guy who lived out the motto not just spoke it. He decided that he wanted to learn to surf after high school He and his brother scraped up enough money to purchase one way tickets to Hawaii. They lived (literally in tents)on the beach and learned to surf while working during the days. He not only went to try out his dream, but also came back home. I have given this advice out to many people who are thinking about doing something different in life. It's great wisdom for even the smallest of adventures.

Within a couple of weeks I was packed up, had rented a trailer for my belongings that I would tow behind my truck, applied to grad school (why not, I needed a solid reason to go to Denver anyhow.....why not spend more money on education!), said my farewells and was off for the great adventure. A week or so later I arrived in Denver with no place to live, no job and not knowing anyone. I had found out along the drive out that I had been accepted to grad school so I guess in hindsight I had a purpose to being there. It didn't really matter to me anyhow because as soon as I saw the Rocky Mountains I knew this was it for me. I am not sure what it is about those rocks that draw me in, but I knew I had found it. I quickly found a place to live and started moving in. Quick side note, don't move to the third floor of an apartment building with no elevators when you have just gotten up to altitude, it will kick your butt. I was so winded and tired from moving my few things upstairs I decided I needed a break. I had seen an advertisement for this place called Tommy's Slalom Shop in the back of my Waterski Magazine and thought I would try to find it. Long story cut short, I found the place and was offered a job working there. Very good luck for me.....I went from no job and no place to live to employed and shelter over my head all within a couple of days. Needless to say I never ended up going to grad school in Denver.

I had found myself in the watersports industry almost by accident. I worked hard (3 seperate jobs), played hard (mountain biking, hiking, waterskiing 5 days a week, snowboarding, etc) and generally enjoyed life in Colorado. What I didn't realize is that I was climbing my first mountain (watersports industry) so to speak. I spent 4 years working at Tommy's and then applied for a job and got hired by a larger company out of California. This company was opening a new store in Seattle and needed someone to co-manage it. How could I pass that up? (see my previous post for information about Seattle's weather and you might change your mind.....I did after I was there) I did a good enough job with that store that they offered me a position down in California managing another one of their stores. The great thing is that this store was to be all mine. To be honest, my view of California at the time wasn't the greatest....I thought it was all Hollywood and so forth, but why not. The money was good and the opportunity was great. I won't bore you with the details, but I climbed the ladder and made my store very successful very quickly. It went from being the number 12 store out of 14 in the company to the number 3 store in one year. Eventually I left there to work at some other companies which turned out to be a huge blessing. After I left the company went under in about 2 years. I wish I could say I was smart enough to see it coming, but really the Lord was just looking out for me.

All of this leads me back to my first post. I had climbed the ladder so far that there wasn't anything left for me to do. I really had two choices: I could pursue a different occupation or I could look to the next logical step, be an owner in the boat business. The ownership idea left me with possibilities for the future whereas the different occupation options was the great unknown. I opted for the ownership route......you can read about that above.

So by now (if you are still reading) you are asking so what does this have to do with the book. Good question. I guess I see it like this. Ed was inspired to keep going, not for the quest of all 14 peaks (although he does admit at some point it did turn to that), but because it was what he needed and wanted to do. That is to say, he needed to keep moving on, needed to keep stepping in a direction, needed to continue to pursue what drove him, needed to continually scratch the proverbial itch. At this point in my life I have a great opportunity that most people don't have. I can start from scratch, a "do over" if you will. I have the ability to find new mountains to climb (the analogy is wearing thin, I know) The questions I have been asking myself these past few weeks are where do I want to go, what do I want to do and how will I do it? I am inspired to believe at this point it is not about the end goal, but finding the place to start (the first or new mountain). For me it may be this opportunity in Portland and a chance to start a completely new career. It might be something else. I can't say that I know right now.

As I sit and wait on the Lord to lead I am comforted by the fact that I am not out of His will at any time throughout this thing. I am not doing anything that surprises God in the least. He didn't look down and go "Whoa, Sean you threw me a curve ball there with the job loss thing. I'll have to get back to you with what's next." He isn't surprised by us and the course of our lives. He isn't wondering what will be next. He knows and is waiting to unveil it in His time. So if all that is true then why am I surprised when I feel so lost with a starting point for whats next? Why is the waiting so hard and so painful? Why do I get filled with anxiety over things I can't control? Why don't I drink deeply of the time that I do have now? I feel kinda like a "connect the dot" picture, but I can't see all the dots and therefor can't see the bigger picture. The truth is I may not ever get to see the big picture. Maybe all I need to worry about is the "dot" in front of me....the first step on the journey.

I know the skills I have honed and acquired in my other jobs will be part of the picture. I also know that Elissa, Evan and I will make it through this thing. I know we have many people who care deeply about us. I know there is a perfect plan for us, but it sure looks fuzzy right now. It must be like looking from base camp up to the top of the mountain.....not sure how I am going to get there (where ever there is), but I'll start with the first step and see where it leads me.

Hopefully you are inspired to read the book, not by what I said or how it applies to my life, but by what you might see in it for yourself. Let me know if you do as I would like to hear your take on it.

Let's start at the beginning

So I have been putting this off for a long time. Let me back up.....

A little over a year ago I thought it would be really cool to jot down some of my thoughts so others could see what I think. The family I married into is gifted with many writers and reading some of their stuff inspired me to give this a shot. I decided all this knowing that I am not a gifted writer and am intimidated by the family that inspired me to try this. Maybe I won't invite them to read it.......I digress.

Let me start with a couple of things.

1. I don't plan to make huge insights or life altering comments on this blog. I simply just want to "put it out there" and see what happens.

2. I struggle with words and spelling so you'll have to take that into account when you read this.

3. I make no apologies for grammar mistakes either.....it is what it is.

If this blog was started 4 months ago it would look very different. I would be in Denver, Colorado while Elissa and Evan were still in California. I would have been working my butt off at a boat business I had planned to purchase. I would be in "heaven" being back in Colorado and deeply missing my family. Let's fast forward to today.....

I write to you from the home where Elissa, Evan and now myself are living. It's not our home, but some friends have been gracious enough to let us stay here. I have been back in California now for a little over a month after one of the hardest seasons of my life.

My dreams were shattered in a way I couldn't have imagined. When we started thinking about this business opportunity in Colorado I had played out all the scenarios. I had talked through it with Elissa and numerous very smart and business savvy friends. We had even come up with plans if the plans we had already made failed, I guess they call it contingency plans. It was all perfect and thought through completely. What's the worst thing that could happen? Don't worry we had a plan for that......except when we didn't.

In our planning and thinking through this thing we had decided that it would be good to have a transition period from the old ownership (present guy) to the new ownership (Hamon's). Seemed really smart at the time and both parties agreed this would be best for the business. It would allow me to get a feel for the business, the employees, the area again and to get things settled to make the move for Elissa and Evan as smooth as possible. I would be a paid employee from June until somewhere around October 1st. I also knew it would take countless hours of work to make this happen. All the better to have the time I needed without my family responsibilities and trying to settle them into a new area, new church and so forth. I had been working a steady 75-80 hours a week and seeing some tremendous progress. The company had been able to match last years numbers for the most part and in todays economy that was a huge win. I had started to "size up" the staff to see which people I would want to keep and which ones needed to go. I had found a great lender to work with and was in process with the loan to purchase the business. With the help of a great guy, Bill we had put together an impressive business plan. I was ready to go and firing on all 8 cylinders!

Then it happened.....I came to work at my usual hour of 7:45am on Monday to see the present owner's truck at the store. I knew something wasn't right, but had no idea what was to come. I walked in the door and he asked to see me in my office. Sure, why not? He must need to tell me something important? We got into my office, sat down and here is what was said. "Sean I have decided to not sell the business and no longer need your services. I'll need your keys and to have this office cleaned out right away." Excuse me? How did you get to this point? When did all this happen? Do you not realize I have worked my butt off for you for 3 months and made you a ton of money while you played? So many questions and no answers. I began to pack up my stuff in complete disbelief. I tried to call Elissa and there was no answer. My mind was racing.....what the heck am I going to do? Where am I going to go? How could this possibly be happening? I didn't have a plan for this! I never thought I would ever be let go from a place I was going to purchase. This was a man who gave me my start in this business. This was his ticket out and my ticket in.....except he punched my ticket before I could punch his ticket.

Believe it or not I didn't yell, didn't swear (not that I ever would), didn't get mad, didn't make a scene, really I didn't do anything, but pack up my stuff and head to the place I was living. Luckily, I was able to get a ride home from the mechanic who works there. It was a long, long 12 minute ride home. Not many words were spoken. He was just as shocked as I was. There wasn't anything really to say.

I am blessed with good friends who live all over this country. One of my friends who lives in Denver happens to work for the airlines and was able to get my on a flight that day to get back to my family in California (for $30 mind you). What a true friend......not only did he get me on the plane, but he sat at the gate with me so I wouldn't be alone. Guys don't do that stuff.....we slap each other on the back, say sorry for the bad luck and are on our way. Not this guy. He was a true friend. He even bought me lunch at a great rib place.....all this on his day off.

I was able to get a flight into San Jose which isn't exactly close to my home (almost 2 hours), but another good friend was able to pick me up as he was working close to San Jose that day. What a great thing to be greeted by....a friend to pick you up at the airport, a comfortable ride home, an offer of a meal, a nice conversation....support.

I got home to Elissa who was actually in worse shape than I was. It was a nice hug in the drive way. United at last.....albeit for crappy reasons, but together again. Off to diner we went to just be. The conversation wasn't really all that much. Lot's of questions, no answers and a ton of silence. What do we do?

Here is where the story takes an interesting turn. Those who know me (and I assume you do if you are reading this) know that I am a planner. I have plans for everything and am always thinking into the future (I'm seeing a Delorean and Michael J. Fox somewhere in that last sentence!). It took a couple of days, but I had a plan for what was next. I was going to go back to Denver, move my stuff into storage, get a few things I needed and come back to California. Elissa already had a good job, Evan's daycare lady is great and we had a place to stay with some friends in a mother-in-law apartment. I would go back to school (I was already enrolled at Fuller anyhow) and finish up my graduate degree and we would be off to ministry in a couple of years. I could find a job to cover the monthly needs along with Elissa's income and off we went.....until we didn't.

The place we were to stay at suddenly became unavailable. The $10 an hour jobs I was looking for didn't call me back. Are you kidding me, $10 an hour and I can't get hired?? There was no way we could stay where we were for a long period of time. What now??? Back to the planning "drawing board" I went.

Another good friend and I had a great conversation. He mentioned the story of Elijah and how the Lord sent him to get rest and eat for some time in the desert before the next long haul (I know, I am really not doing the story justice, but bear with me). The word from the Lord in that to me was to take rest, eat and be patient. Three things that don't come naturally for me at all! You are talking to a worker bee here. I eat to live not live to eat. I'll sleep when I am dead. I guess not though....

So, here I am. I have been unemployed for just over 5 weeks, which is the longest I can ever remember being without work. I started working when I was 12 picking strawberries during the summer for a quarter a quart. I am resting much more than I have ever rested. I don't think I know how much my body needed to rest. I am reading again which is something I long to be more proficient at. I have actually started to not only read the Bible, but study it again. Right now I am working through I & II Samuel. The story of Samuel, Saul and David. I highly recommend those two books. There is so much to be gleaned from those stories of faith and disobedience. Our God is a good God and the patience He has with us is amazing. I am exercising regularly again which I need. I am looking for work...do you know how hard it is to look for work when you have a blank canvas? Try not knowing where you want to live, what you want to do and not knowing where the Lord is leading. Look for work with those parameters! Holy Cow! I am trying so hard to be patient. The Lord is working and moving within me and my family. We are treading (waiting patiently) in some deep water right now, trusting that the Lord will move us on when it's time. There have been some rogue waves that have crashed over us in these past few weeks. Sometimes we are holding on by a thin thread (I stole that line from Elissa). Sometimes we are confident. Today I feel confident.

There is a possibility we might be considered for a job in Portland, Oregon. I would be lying if I said that doesn't scare me a little bit. The work sounds great, challenging, different and something I would be good at. The financial end of things is a bit scary....trying cutting your income by close to 2/3. Talk about living on faith! Portland is a beautiful area, but it doesn't get much sun. In fact I think it gets the least number of sunny days in the lower 48 (you'll have to check me on that, but it's close). You are talking to a guy who came to realize how important the sun was to his mental health a number of years ago. I moved from Denver (300 days of sunshine a year) to Seattle (maybe 4 days a year? Just kidding). My whole mood changed when I ended up with the dreariness and it scares me to think about going back to a "low sun day count". On the other hand, I am struck by the thought that it's different now. It would be a new job, new industry, I have a great wife whom I didn't have while in Seattle, a son (endless joy there), more maturity (I think), in-laws that live close by (for now, and yes that is a good thing), great friend and mentor just (3 weeks ago) moved to Portland, hope for a future outside of the boat business and the list goes on.

We should know more about Portland in the next couple of weeks. Until then, I sit and wait on the Lord. It's much harder than I thought it would be. It's completely out of my control. So, I continue to do the things that got me to right now.....read, rest, eat, search for work, spend time with my family, exercise and now this blog.

I guess that was the beginning....seems to be a long one, but there it is. Let's catch up soon.....